Äkta Människor (Real Humans)
Player.Attack.S06E06.HDTV.h264-Berg[ettv]

Bang Gang(7)

By: Jade West



That’s how it works around here.

I got a wave from Tonya as I stepped through the door, but the others were too deep in conversation to give me a second glance. They were a huddle of whispers and giggles, eyebrows raised as Mandy recounted some village happening or another. I grabbed a cappuccino from my boss Lorraine and made my way to the table, letting out a sigh of relief as I slipped into my seat, hoping beyond hope for a funny tale or two to take my mind off my own crap.

I’m sure I caught the end of a ‘hung like a horse’ comment, but then the gossip stopped. Entirely.

Not for an interlude of hellos and smiles, or to give me a chance to catch up with the flow of conversation. Nothing so innocuous as that. It just stopped. Dead.

Nobody said a word.

“What?” I said. “Have I got shit on my face or something?” I patted my cheeks, but couldn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. I didn’t even have any makeup to smudge.

Silence.

“So what’s the news?” I settled into my chair, kept my smile bright.

Tonya cleared her throat. “Mandy was just, ergh… She was just saying how she had a…”

“It was nothing,” Mandy interrupted.

“Nothing?” I asked. “It didn’t sound like nothing…”

She shrugged. “Just a date. Nothing too much of note.”

I’d have believed her if the whole lot of them weren’t staring straight into their coffee cups and not at me.

“A date?” I prompted.

She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “A date, yeah. A kind of date.”

“Booty call,” Steph said.

I smiled. “Someone got lucky, then. Tell me all, I’m desperate for a good giggle. Morning from hell.” I sipped my drink and waited. Kept waiting.

Debbie started talking to Steph about her new blonde highlights, and they all jumped in, jabbering on about some boring hair crap that nobody really gave a shit about.

“Come on!” I laughed. “Don’t hold out on me. What’s going on?”

“It wasn’t anything,” Mandy said. “Just a… I had a…”

“An orgy,” Debbie blurted. “Mandy had a gang bang last night. Three men to herself!” The others looked horrified, but Debbie shrugged. “It’s all over Facebook, it’s hardly a secret…”

I nearly spat out my coffee as I giggled, but they weren’t joining in. I looked around the faces. “Seriously? For real? Three men at once?”

Mandy shrugged. “It was a… fantasy… of mine…”

Isn’t it everyone’s? Three hot guys at once. Ripped and well hung and well aware of what to do with it…

I stared at her, willing her to tell me everything. This kind of shit was like balm for my frazzled, chore-shackled soul. I could practically feel the restraints of Mum-Jodie slipping away at the thought of some decent sex-gossip.

I leaned in, elbows on the table. “So? Was it… good?”

Mandy nodded, and her face lit up like an arcade after dark. “It was absolutely. Fucking. Amazing.”

Tonya coughed, shook her head at Mandy and my stomach did a weird little flip. “What?” I said. “Why the weirdness? What’s going on?”

Debbie smiled straight at me. “So, how was your morning?”

I laughed. “My morning sucked, same as every other school morning. Only this morning I found the washing machine had decided to go all kamikaze overnight and take a load of school uniform down with it, Ruby had a tantrum over black socks, I found out Mia hates high school and then found out Ruby’s been taking anger-management classes from her father.” I sighed. “But none of this is even remotely as interesting as taking three guys at once, and you all know it, so what’s the big deal?”

I waited, again. They said nothing — again.

And then Steph checked her phone. “Ooh, is that the time?” She downed her coffee and gathered her bag, and the others followed suit, except Tonya who stayed put.

“What?” I said, and then I saw it. The empty cake plates. The almost empty mugs. They’d been here before me, much before our regular time slot. I felt ridiculously hurt.

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